Tuesday, June 8, 2010

My Husband is a Diva...and Food Punishments

Dewey's been gone just one day, but it seems like longer. You sure it's not Thursday or so???

We're schooling and sewing today. We got in some reading yesterday, then went off to town to check out some campers/travel trailers. Long story, but the short version (yeah, right...just bear with me anyway...) is this company Dewey is with like to make their name by saving money. They select rather seedy hotels for their guys. Not that every Motel Six is a dive, I'm sure, but the one they dumped him in last night was beyond disgusting and deserving of the title seedy dive. And perhaps tetanus boosters as well.

They told Dewey he's the new guy on the pole and needs to just take the reigns and make a name for himself, live up to the reputation he brought with him.

He is. He's a *diva*, apparently, because he has not had much good to. Tell them about their hotel choices, let alone their job practices. He called to let me know if they don't fire him for being vocal, he might quit over their level of tightwad. At the Superintendent's meeting yesterday morning, they asked him about the Texas job, what he thought about the job, suggestions, etc. Dewey isn't a boat-rocker sort normally, but they asked and he told them...they have too many upper-level guys hanging out in the job trailer and not enough supervision on the floor, they were grossly under-tooled on that job, the communication was high school (superintendent's not sharing critical information so as to make the others look like they are slacking off) and their housing selection left a great deal to be desired.

They suggested a travel trailer...most the main guys traveling for them have them. They give a substantial allowance for housing -- though based on their hotel selections you sure wouldn't guess. They guys use that to make payments on a travel trailer basically.

Hence my travel trailer look yesterday. I saw several I didn't like at all...very tight, no natural lighting (yeah, it's a camper, I know...). The last one they showed me was perfect -- a Starcraft Autumn Ridge series, 329BHU model. It has 2 slide-outs, a huge awning, TONS of natural light. Very spacious for a travel trailer I thought. It had plenty of room for the family. Not that we're loading up for the jobsite road, but we sure aren't putting that kind of money (this one was $24k) into something just for is work use. It has to be family-sized.

But...it's all just thoughts and possibilities right now. Dive hotels are our thing for a while longer.

So...schooling and sewing today. Heat index is up there and we're under a heat warning, and will probably have some popcorn storms along with that heat. Laundry is out already -- and believe it or not, I have but half a basket remaining. TOTAL. HALF a basket. Unheard of in this family, let me tell you. Wonder if you can still rent the Goodyear Blimp for announcements?

Oh -- a note on our If-Then Chart and consequences. Someone pointed out I could (most likely) be setting my children up for food-related disorders later in life by using food as a punishment tool.

Makes sense. However, I don't believe I'm using food as a punishment tool. Yes, in some instances, my children are punished by say, "no dinner, straight to bed" and similar.

The focus isn't "no food" though -- the focus is the lack of dinner table fellowship, which is a *huge* part of our family style here. My children are hardly lacking in meals here. They eat like sheep...always grazing!

The "no dinner" consequence is usually played out like this...a child/children specifically takes food after being told no, or they purposefully sneak food (most often this is snacks or treats). That is stealing, no matter how you try to rationalize it. Stealing is a HUGE thing.
It's not 'cute' in a toddler or middle, and it tends to grow into other areas...like lying, stealing things besides food, etc...and the focus is not the food or the item stolen, it's the heart behind it. Allowed to go unpunished, it's going to grow into far too many other areas.

The focus isn't no dinner. The focus is the lack of what in this family is considered important fellowship time. And it generally doesn't involve no dinner at all...it usually means your meal is eaten separately, apart from the rest of the family, or you receive a simple meal...a PB sandwich and milk maybe.

No one is being withheld from eating. They are removed from the fellowship of siblings and parents for a main meal and sent to their room for the night, no playing...a (hopefully) reflecting on their 'crime' and coming to repentance for it.

If repentance like that causes food issues later in life, that's a small price compared to a child who becomes an adult believing they have rights to anything and everything they want, regardless of the circumstances. The bottom line is the stealing, in this case food or treats.


Stephanie said...

Poor Dewey! My dad went through that, working for the good ol' Government. They didn't check out the hotels ahead of time, just took whatever ones would give them the government rates. Needless to say, he stayed in some pretty nasty places (filthy and crime ridden) over 30 yrs.

As for the no dinner thing, I think that is perfect :) When I was growing up "no dinner' as punishment meant just that...no food, no family...straight to bed until morning. I didn't grow up with food issues, and I highly doubt your kiddos will.

Keep up the good work, it's hard keeping a home going alone.

Life of a plainlady said...

I do not send my children to bed hungry but they are not allowed any 'treats' as punishment. For example they must sit there and eat plain ol rice or just bread, and NO Dessert. We have family worship after our evening meal and everyone has to be present for that. Seeing others enjoying a yummy meal while trying to swallow 'bare' rice is punishment! Also cuts out any chance of Social services being able to acuse me of witholding food from my children.

Anonymous said...

Thank you for clearing this up for me...that was fast!
I see your point, I really do. I just never considered my kids going to get whatever they want to eat as stealing. In moderation, of course.
I can see the loss of family time as a huge deal...I thought I mentioned it in my last comment.
I apologize if I seemed rude for asking about this. I actually read your blog every day and I find it interesting. I don't always agree with you..but I like that you speak honestly about your beliefs. And you have even taught me to shop smarter and to buy a few extra cans of food every shopping trip : )

Again, thanks for further info on this!



Jeremiah 6:16
Thus saith the LORD, Stand ye in the ways, and see, and ask for the old paths, where is the good way, and walk therein, and ye shall find rest for your souls.

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