Those two seem a bit separated from one another, don't they? I thought so...then I started reading back through the archives of this blog and noticed that while my "works" have changed over the years (this blog began back in September 2008..and that was after a fairly long stint over at the original Homestead Blogger), I am still basically the same person I have always been.
Good or bad?
Haven't I grown?
Surely there are things that have changed in my life. I can't possibly still be the same on all levels.
There are, of course, the basics of a person that generally remain a fixed mark on the compass of their lives. Those are the nuts and bolts of WHO you really are. Those are those many things that make up the foundation of who you are, where you have been, where you are going. These are my foundation from that first blogpost...
I really don't have any earth shattering thoughts to say about much. I simply share what is rolling in my head or heart at the time, what is moving along on the home front here, and what I feel I'm being refined through at any given point in time. I believe what I believe, and I certainly don't have issues sharing that, but really, it's all just a bunch of nothing. I simply am what I am and I don't apologize for that one minute. I don't back-peddle as so many do on their blogs and pages. What you see here is pretty much what you get...just put it into a dress and headcovering. There are some successes here and there and some really huge chinks in my armor as well. And a whole lot of me being placed squarely on my backside time and time again because I know what I should be doing and yet I keep trying to move ahead in my own fashion anyway. Truth be told, probably far more chinks and backside sitting than you can imagine. But, as I said, I am who I am.
- I am Deanna. I am Dewey's wife. I am mother to Christopher, Stephanie, our angel in Heaven, Jennifer, Johanna, Matthew, Abigail, Jacob, KatiAnne, David and Emily.
- I am a Child of God. I am saved through His Grace and Mercy alone. I am washed in His Blood. There is nothing I have done in my life that deserves that Salvation at all. My choosing dresses, my choosing headcoverings, my working to live a more simple life...none of that has bearing on my Salvation. It will not glean me a softer cloud in Heaven, it does not place me higher up the ladder or place me above you spiritually.
- I believe the King James Bible is the closest we have in our society to the Truth as God Breathed it.
- I believe that Jesus Christ is The Way to Heaven. There aren't any other doors to get you there, or even get you close. You either believe what The Bible says (and for me, that's KJV) or you don't. It's not a gray area in the least. It's totally black and white. Yes, you have the Grace The New Testament and not The Law of the Old Testament, but that's not an excuse for ignorance of what God says in His Word.
- I believe in gender roles for my children. I want men who will stand firm and tall in their adult lives, leading their family with a fierce depth of Faith and a total fear of God. I want women who are eager to take their place alongside a strong man and manage their homes, guide their children and teach them those same gender roles for the coming generations. I believe these lines come more in concrete than in sand, the way the world teaches them these days. There is nothing gender-neutral about my children and I fully intend to praise them for that and help them learn to praise God for that.
- I dislike women's prayer groups -- at least the ones I've been a part of to date. I don't believe in trying to veil pure gossip spreading under the guise of a prayer request. I dislike the grouping of a bunch of 'fluffy Christian women' without any real idea of what a woman with a Godly calling behind her even looks like. I don't care for the fluffiness of a Ladies Tea, either. As women, as Christian women, we have such a high calling behind us, yet look at what we've done with it. We've turned it into some shallow church basement gossip meeting. (move that soap box out of my way lest I get on too large a roll here!)
- I believe in homeschooling my children. Yes, I think I've turned out pretty well in my life, and I am a product of the government school system....but it's only by the unending Grace of God that I am what I am. The school system had nothing to do with it...nothing aside from filling my head with things that I never needing there, exposing me to things I shouldn't have been exposed to. I believe that as parents, we are ultimately responsible for the things our children are exposed to, good and especially the bad. If I send them off for 8 hours a day to a system I know isn't looking out for their best interest in the long run, I am not doing that job. I have no problem owning up to my own mistakes, but I choose not to pay for the mistakes of others under the excuse of socialization. LOL...we have 9 children...we hardly lack in socialization around here.
- I believe it's very difficult to be a keeper at home, especially with children involved. I am walking that path every day and it's not an easy path. I trip over rocks of my own making all the time. Many of those 'rocks' come in the form of my interest in how everyone else lives their daily lives. In general, it doesn't sound that bad, but in reality, it is. I have been very guilty of coming here when I know there are true needs in my life elsewhere. I can easily wrap myself up in the 'worlds' of others and forget that The Lord has a world waiting on me all for myself here. I am a wife and a mother. That is my world. It is my calling. I sometimes forget to keep that up front in my heart by living it to the fullest.
Have I changed much over the years? I have, yet I really haven't. I am unchanged, yet still very much a work-in-progress. I am still a mom to those 9 arrows, but today there are only 5 remaining in the quiver. And there is a sub quiver (yep, totally made that up.) now with the first of hopefully many grandchildren.
- I have other things I believe in, and I stand by them when asked or confronted. By the same token, I am open to the views of others and I enjoy studying out what they believe in and why. I pray daily that I keep a right, Godly perspective. If and when --and there are lots of whens in my history -- I am shown the error of my thinking, I pray over it and trust in The Lord to bring me back into right again.
I was going to say that my circumstances have changed...but really, they haven't either. Dewey still works, for the most part, away from home. As does our oldest son, and our oldest daughter (who in fact lives away from home as well), and our newly married daughter (thankfully just in town so I can play with the grandson everyday), and the next oldest son. My nest is slowly changing, with just 5 still at home, but the days still remain very much the same. There is schooling, chores around the homestead, animals to tend, work to be shared, and more.
I can re-read all those blog posts from the beginning and see the progression of many of our works of family, but I also see an unchanging life for the most part. So many people drift around from this to that, but honestly, I think we have remained fairly constant here. We have failed big time in so many areas, and we have seen successes in so many others, but the real direction in this family has stayed the course. Failings don't always mean you need to change direction. Sometimes those failings are the best teachers and what keeps the work-in-progress moving ahead.
Trust me, I've got a laundry list of failures here. Not taking any pride in them, mind you, but they are my reality and I own them.