A blog just because...

I really have no business being online today at all, but here I am while children nap and the weather does whatever its going to do outside.

But, as I said, I'm here. Online. On a Sunday.

I went back over to read some thoughts on hand washing...and, of course, I ended up in a bunny trail and here I was, reading a wonderful blog reprint and nodding my head in agreement all the way. Here's the link to that -- Anonymous Internet Dogs

Yes, you either read Mr. Bunker's pages and sites and nod in agreement, hit the floor on your knees for all the wrongs you know you are walking in and repent of them, or you get red-faced with anger and click away to somewhere a bit less in-your-face. Personally, I've had my eyes opened and hit my knees way more than turning defensive and clicking away. I totally believe if you feel that bit of in-your-face attitude over there, you are definitely in the right place where God wants you to be to hear exactly what you've been ignoring from God Himself along the path.

But, I digress...and I do that often. Too often, I suppose.

I really don't have any earth shattering thoughts to say about much. I simply share what is rolling in my head or heart at the time, what is moving along on the home front here, and what I feel I'm being refined through at any given point in time. I believe what I believe, and I certainly don't have issues sharing that, but really, it's all just a bunch of nothing. I simply am what I am and I don't apologize for that one minute. I don't back-peddle as so many do on their blogs and pages. What you see here is pretty much what you get...just put it into a dress and headcovering. There are some successes here and there and some really huge chinks in my armor as well. And a whole lot of me being placed squarely on my backside time and time again because I know what I should be doing and yet I keep trying to move ahead in my own fashion anyway. Truth be told, probably far more chinks and backside sitting than you can imagine. But, as I said, I am who I am.

I walked along with a troll about a year ago on one of my blogs, and let me tell you, that was interesting to say the least. They kept m on my toes, and I will admit, I got caught up in the game of cat and mouse, even if I was supposed to be the mouse in it all. But, time went on and my troll apparently got bored of me I guess. Told you I was boring. They moved on and are, no doubt, playing with someone else now. It was a rather tedious game of my posting something...anything, really...about my day, our life, our homestead then she would post something on her blog. I mentioned butchering chickens and they crept up a day or two later with a whole animal cruelty post and commercial chicken farm conditions post appeared over there.

I played along. I was told to get off the computer and get a real life. All I knew how to do was have kids. Well, yes, that pretty much sums me up in a nutshell...but I have children. Goats have kids. I was constantly 'attacked' about what I wrote and how I wrote it. Actually, that tickled me somewhat. Someone was reading what I had to say, irrelevant and boring to the point of tears as that can get at times.

So, all of that led me to a post about Who I Am. It wasn't anything earth-shattering new by any stretch. It wasn't even all-inclusive. I am alot of things. I am a mix of good and not-so-good, though I do work to get a leading edge on those good parts. Here is a bit of that post...just to share Who I Am here, lest anyone be confused at some point in time :o)

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• I am Deanna. I am Dewey's wife. I am mother to Christopher, Stephanie, our angel in Heaven, Jennifer, Johanna, Matthew, Abigail, Jacob, KatiAnne, David and Emily.

• I am a Child of God. I am saved through His Grace and Mercy alone. I am washed in His Blood. There is nothing I have done in my life that deserves that Salvation at all. My choosing dresses, my choosing headcoverings, my working to live a more simple life...none of that has bearing on my Salvation. It will not glean me a softer cloud in Heaven, it does not place me higher up the ladder or place me above you spiritually.

• I believe the King James Bible is the closest we have in our society to the Truth as God Breathed it.

• I believe that Jesus Christ is The Way to Heaven. There aren't any other doors to get you there, or even get you close. You either believe what The Bible says (and for me, that's KJV) or you don't. It's not a gray area in the least. It's totally black and white. Yes, you have the Grace The New Testament and not The Law of the Old Testament, but that's not an excuse for ignorance of what God says in His Word.

• I believe in gender roles for my children. I want men who will stand firm and tall in their adult lives, leading their family with a fierce depth of Faith and a total fear of God. I want women who are eager to take their place alongside a strong man and manage their homes, guide their children and teach them those same gender roles for the coming generations. I believe these lines come more in concrete than in sand, the way the world teaches them these days. There is nothing gender-neutral about my children and I fully intend to praise them for that and help them learn to praise God for that.

• I dislike women's prayer groups -- at least the ones I've been a part of to date. I don't believe in trying to veil pure gossip spreading under the guise of a prayer request. I dislike the grouping of a bunch of 'fluffy Christian women' without any real idea of what a woman with a Godly calling behind her even looks like. I don't care for the fluffiness of a Ladies Tea, either. As women, as Christian women, we have such a high calling behind us, yet look at what we've done with it. We've turned it into some shallow church basement gossip meeting. (move that soap box out of my way lest I get on too large a roll here!)

• I believe in homeschooling my children. Yes, I think I've turned out pretty well in my life, and I am a product of the government school system....but it's only by the unending Grace of God that I am what I am. The school system hasd nothing to do with it...nothing aside from filling my head with things that I never needing there, exposing me to things I shouldn't have been exposed to. I believe that as parents, we are ultimately responsible for the things our children are exposed to, good and especially the bad. If I send them off for 8 hours a day to a system I know isn't looking out for their best interest in the long run, I am not doing that job. I have no problem owning up to my own mistakes, but I choose not to pay for the mistakes of others under the excuse of socialization. LOL...we have 9 children...we hardly lack in socialization around here.

• I believe it's very difficult to be a keeper at home, especially with children involved. I am walking that path every day and it's not an easy path. I trip over rocks of my own making all the time. Many of those 'rocks' come in the form of my interest in how everyone else lives their daily lives. In general, it doesn't sound that bad, but in reality, it is. I have been very guilty of coming here when I know there are true needs in my life elsewhere. I can easily wrap myself up in the 'worlds' of others and forget that The Lord has a world waiting on me all for myself here. I am a wife and a mother. That is my world. It is my calling. I sometimes forget to keep that up front in my heart by living it to the fullest.
• I have other things I believe in, and I stand by them when asked or confronted. By the same token, I am open to the views of others and I enjoy studying out what they believe in and why. I pray daily that I keep a right, Godly perspective. If and when --and there are lots of whens in my history -- I am shown the error of my thinking, I pray over it and trust in The Lord to bring me back into right again.
  

No, none of this really has any importance to anyone aside from me. I tend to ramble at times. Maybe I'm having a difficult time being a single parent with Dewey off working elsewhere right now. Maybe it's just been one of those weeks and I needed to get myself re-focused again on exactly what my life is all about. Yes, it's just been one of those weeks here. I am truly cherishing a day/evening of quiet aloneness on the homestead. Well...almost aloneness. As close as I'll ever get to it :o)